‘It doesn’t matter who hurt you or broke you, what matters is who made you smile again’.

Update on kirstythought

Its been a while since I last wrote, I have been very busy working long shifts and trying to socialise. I’m truly glad to have this week off work, I have been tired and struggling with an issue regarding medication. I had been on sertraline for less than a year, it made me sleep an awful lot and I felt like I lacked energy. I decided I wanted to come off it and with guidance from my gp I slowly weaned off it.

Then came off it altogether, this not being a great decision. For the first few days I seemed generally ok. Next came the intense headaches, sweating, not sleeping through the night and I was becoming more irritable. I snapped at those close to me and my insecurity was through the roof.

As a result of this I have sought further support from my gp who rightly so informed me that I had came off them too soon. I have now started counselling and hope this is a way for me to achieve stability without withdrawing from any medications.

It is during this period that I have reflected greatly on why I am so anxious, and truly it is because of the people I used to surround myself with alongside bad relationships. Now I don’t intend to dwell on the hurt anymore but instead i’m focusing on the people who have made me smile, who see through my flaws and who guide me through. I am grateful for those who have invited me out or round to their house, this has helped motivate me. I now won’t forget who has helped me smile again 😊

I would be grateful for any advice from people who have had withdrawal symptoms from medications. Thank you x

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‘Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change’. Jim Rohin

Saturday night was my final shift at the restaurant, next week I start work on the neonatal unit as a healthcare assistant while my NMC registration comes through. It wasn’t luck that got me here though, it was hard work. Its been three years of stress, tension and long shifts. I chose this change and although it has been hard, I’m glad of the achievement. As well as changing my career there are other changes I intend to make gradually which I hope will enable me to have a more positive life. I feel like I have been gloomy for a long time so now I’ve addressed the career change, its time for other changes and more happiness!

Here are my first 5…

  1. Declutter my life: Including social media, people and my room! I have already got rid of lots of people on Facebook and Instagram who I never communicate with or who I feel are there to be nosey. I also want to cut ties with people who only want to know me when it suits them or when they need something. I have started to de clutter my room and will continue to get rid of things I no longer use!
  2. Embrace learning: I understand that within my chosen career path I will be offered lots of further opportunities to study in order to learn and develop specifically on neonates. I intend to welcome these opportunities and be able to flourish within my career.
  3. Exercise: I need to exercise more, I used to be a member of a gym but found it boring and tedious.. I tried aerial silks, which was ok but too expensive, I go running occasionally and walk my dog on most days. I like walking as I pop my headphones in and block out the whole world. I have also recently got an app on my tablet which gives me 7 minute workouts, I actually enjoy doing this and will try to do it most days.
  4. Let go of regrets: I have many regrets, but actually I now intend to let go of them by cutting ties with the involved people, embrace happiness and surround myself with people who have my best interests at heart. Then gradually I believe I will move forward.
  5. Blog!! I intend to try and blog more as writing helps me address issues within my mind. I also find comfort in reading other blogs which inspire me or give me something to think about.

These may seem like small changes but I work better when I take on each day as it comes.

Make those changes now… I will keep you updated on mine!

‘The best view comes after the hardest climb’.

A small update on me!!

This picture was taken in the first year of my nursing degree, and Saturday was last ever shift as a student nurse!! I am very proud now to have completely finished my children’s nursing degree, this has been a hard three years but I have now get there and have a good view of the future ahead of me.

Today I have been to University to take in all my assessment documents from the three years, this has felt like relief to have achieved so much, even when I didn’t think I would complete at all. I have got through this training by support from family and friends who I couldn’t thank enough for their support. I also have to say writing this blog has helped keep me focused and overcome issues that I did have, writing this blog as well as reading other blog posts has gave me clarification that even with anxiety you can still overcome challenges which will help shape your future. All the positive encouragement will now inspire me to find a job which I will continue to flourish in.

This is a gift from my Mum, a teddy made from my Uniform!!

‘She remembered who she was, and the game changed’.

For the first time in a long time I genuinely feel happy and a little more confident. Returning to the Neonatal unit for the last time filled me with nerves. This time round has been different, i’ve got two supportive mentors who are helping me get through this final stretch. I am taking all opportunities available to me, including working with midwives or with advanced neonatal nurse practitioners. I am beginning to flourish not just as a childrens nurse but as a person. Its a nice feeling to be motivated again and an even better feeling to see an increase in my confidence. Yes, I still have days where i’m anxious and quiet but I still strive to see the good in every day. I have finally surrounded myself with good people who want the best for me, who see my potential and push me to go further. These people will never know how grateful I am for their kind thoughts and caring nature. I now do not feel alone, which is where my confidence is coming from. I have remembered who I am, where I want to be and who I need for this journey!! 😘

P.S.. Proud moment.. I delivered my first baby on mothers day and handed the baby to a proud Mummy and Daddy 😍👶

‘Confidence level = selfie with no filter’..

Happy new year!! Firstly there will be No ‘new year new me’ from me.. I will still be the same miserable, worried and worked up little woman I was last year. Just perhaps with a few more goals in place. And no I don’t believe I will see a fast imcrease in my confidence, as I know things take work, but heres my first simple goals.

  1. I will complete my nursing degree
  2. Will choose an exercise class and stick to it.
  3. Drink less coffee!!

If i’m honest the 3rd goal is going relatively well. I blame coffee for my lack of sleep, and my random bouts of energy that occur after each mug. I started by setting myself an initial goal first, for example for the coffee goal I decided that for every cup I had, would be followed by two glasses of water!! This has proved successful as I have had no coffee now for three days.

My nursing degree goal will be discussed on a post coming up shortly! And my exercise goal, well we will just see. I intend to join a class not just for exercises but for social purposes too, meeting new people with similar interests can be daunting for me, but (along with my confidence) is something that can be worked upon. This gradual process of completing goals will hopefully enable my confidence to build slowly. Bearing this in mind make your goals achievable, and remember you won’t be cartwheeling with joy every day but at least smile 😊

2018 i’m ready for you 💁

‘You must learn how to f.l.y, (first love yourself)…

I havent wrote for a while and I have to be honest I have been resting. I am so tired from this years placement and University that ive been shattered. At the beginning of this year I started aerial silks, then I didnt go for a while. Just over a week ago I went to a class again and really enjoyed it. I remembered most of the moved and although I ached a lot it was good to exercise again!

Another point to raise is that I have been able to find myself again, I have been able to be happy again and find more confidence in myself. Due to this I have found the f.l.y abbreviation which made me smile when I discovered it, i’ve realised now my confidence is getting there i’m being to like myself again.. and beginning to fly 😊 literally 😊

‘You can sit around waiting for life to happen, or you can seize this very moment and make things happen’.

Image result for katie piper start your day with katie

Another tip for a positive life!

I purchased this book a while ago, I love to read the quotes each day for a positive outlook. Katie Piper is an inspiration, and this book will help increase your happiness day by day #Littlethingsinlife