Well I think so anyway…
This new years eve was so different for me.. normally I would be out wearing a glittery, tight, uncomfortable dress in too high heels, with too much make up on. But this year was different as firstly I was working and secondly I wanted to get straight back home to my man.
Once I left work I went straight to his house to be welcomed by chinese food and cuddles. And I could not have asked for anything more. We saw the new year in holding eachother and making plans for this year. That night meant more to me than previous years, falling out of clubs/pubs and paying over the odds to get home.
I love that I was snuggled up in my mans arms to see in 2018, I love that its the only place in this world where I feel at ease, protected, safe, and loved. Most of all I felt free from the worry and thoughts that plague my mind daily.
This year on December 31st I know where i’ll be 😊❤
Happy new year!! Firstly there will be No ‘new year new me’ from me.. I will still be the same miserable, worried and worked up little woman I was last year. Just perhaps with a few more goals in place. And no I don’t believe I will see a fast imcrease in my confidence, as I know things take work, but heres my first simple goals.
- I will complete my nursing degree
- Will choose an exercise class and stick to it.
- Drink less coffee!!
If i’m honest the 3rd goal is going relatively well. I blame coffee for my lack of sleep, and my random bouts of energy that occur after each mug. I started by setting myself an initial goal first, for example for the coffee goal I decided that for every cup I had, would be followed by two glasses of water!! This has proved successful as I have had no coffee now for three days.
My nursing degree goal will be discussed on a post coming up shortly! And my exercise goal, well we will just see. I intend to join a class not just for exercises but for social purposes too, meeting new people with similar interests can be daunting for me, but (along with my confidence) is something that can be worked upon. This gradual process of completing goals will hopefully enable my confidence to build slowly. Bearing this in mind make your goals achievable, and remember you won’t be cartwheeling with joy every day but at least smile 😊
2018 i’m ready for you 💁
So this years xmas has been awful to be honest, I spent xmas day driving around and seeing everyone.. and getting soaked on by the rain. Although looking at the positives, my little cousins made me laugh, and I enjoyed indulging in all the food. I missed my partner badly on xmas day but felt better once I visited him on boxing day. This year has been a blur, full of ups and mainly downs, I am looking forward to the new year. And hopefully with a more positive outlook, I will finish my degree, fet a job and enjoy a few holidays 😊 For now though 2017… Ciao adios i’m done.
I am clearly a perfect example of this, this quote is relatable in so many ways. I will push my man away till he is almost as drained as I am, I don’t like this and need to channel some different behaviours. I push you away in the hope you won’t go, that you will protect me and make me feel safe. Today has been out of control, from having only three hours sleep, to trying to push you away some more then, crying about it for the rest of the early hours.. But you handle me well, you hold me, reassure me, you know how i’m feeling by my moods, my tone and my facial expressions. And for that I love you, you didn’t give up on me no matter how hard I have pushed. A few more things to add, I thank you for being my rock, making me feel safe and reminding me of all the good memories.
Tonight I have managed to calm down, be thankful and smile again 😊
I havent wrote for a while and I have to be honest I have been resting. I am so tired from this years placement and University that ive been shattered. At the beginning of this year I started aerial silks, then I didnt go for a while. Just over a week ago I went to a class again and really enjoyed it. I remembered most of the moved and although I ached a lot it was good to exercise again!
Another point to raise is that I have been able to find myself again, I have been able to be happy again and find more confidence in myself. Due to this I have found the f.l.y abbreviation which made me smile when I discovered it, i’ve realised now my confidence is getting there i’m being to like myself again.. and beginning to fly 😊 literally 😊
Today I have decided to blog as much as possible for two reasons.
- To set myself a challenge
- To spread awareness of anxiety.
I will blog all day, I intend to refresh and remind people what I blog about, spread awareness of anxiety, have a laugh and maybe throw a few beauty tips in too! I will post pictures and give ideas to help distract people from anxiety, panic and worry.
Now take a look at this old photo. Here I am young with not a care in the world listening to my music!! First tip of the day is to dig out old pictures! You could spend hours looking through pictures and smiling at the memories, this will distract you from anxiety and encourage you to embrace all the good times 😊
Another tip taken from the photo, listen to music 🎵 I have clearly loved listening to music from a young age. Music can help distract you from everything for a while. I occasionally put my headphones in while pottering around in the house. Music can help you reflect and gives you time out to think! Start by downloading an uplifting playlist heres a few tunes from mine.
- Amazed- Lonestar
- My girl-Temptations
- Mirrors- Justin Timberlake
- A sky full of stars- Coldplay
Now get your photos out pop your headphones in and have a wonderful day 🎧🎵😊
This week has been hectic for me, turning 27 over a week ago, moving back home on my birthday, rehoming my dog twice and trying to finish Uni work. But I have managed and I have to admit i’ve had help from a very lovely person. As soon as it is I have met somebody else and knew him before the break up. I have heard comments of ‘oohh quite soon isn’t it’ and ‘is this a rebound’. But I genuinely don’t agree with either comments, for once I feel excited, and happy. I think I also know why.. I believe I was over my previous relationship before it ended, I think I had cried my fair share of tears until I couldn’t cry anymore. I just needed to see that this couldn’t go on anymore, and I did.
Thanks (withheld name) you have seen me at my lowest, you accepted my anxiety straight away as you witnessed me at my worst. You held me when I thought I made a mistake leaving him, you comforted me when I had endless rants. You helped me through this, you made me laugh and made me feel wanted again and for that I am grateful.
I don’t care if people think its too soon, I am happy that someone seems to treasure me and cares. Oh and one more thing, thank you to my ex for appearing on tinder which I discovered through a friend, you have just confirmed I made the right decision!